


This

by smoviescenes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Can Hear Longing, Dean Has Nightmares, Longing, M/M, castiel and mary, the bunker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 15:31:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11016300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoviescenes/pseuds/smoviescenes
Summary: Castiel finally gets to call the bunker "home", Mary knows exactly what is going on and Dean longs for his angel.





	This

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place sometime around 12x16, no spoilers except for Mary being alive (but if you've missed that one, I'm not even sorry). I'm a bit upset after the season finale, so here you go - hope this helps if you feel the same way
> 
> smoviescenes on tumblr, feel free to message me if you want to chat about anything xx

Castiel does not need to sleep, not really, but he still enjoys the act of lying down and closing his eyes and resting for a bit. 

When he officially moved in to the bunker, he found that Dean had already prepared a bedroom for him. (”You’ll need somewhere to put your stuff. Not that you have any stuff, but, you know. You could.” He then hid a furious blush and marsched off without another word.) It is a nice room, the bed is comfortable and Castiel has put the old image of Claire that he found in Jimmy Novak’s wallet on the bedside table. He has a change of clothes: a t-shirt (Dean’s) and a pair of jeans (also Dean’s) which he never uses, but it’s still nice to see them hanging there in the closet. 

Mary has a bedroom too, of course, that she uses whenever she stops by. Castiel has not been inside it, but he can safely assume that Dean put as much love into preparing her room as he did with his. 

She is sleeping there tonight, or so Castiel thought - he can’t hear her breathing. The brothers' even breaths vibrate through the walls but Mary-

Castiel focuses harder and _there it is_. She is in the kitchen. 

He gets out of bed and walks quietly to join her, knocking gently on the door to alert her of his presence. When she meets his eyes, he realizes that she has heard every step he has taken - she is a hunter, after all.

”Humans need an average of seven hours of sleep every night. There is a process which cleans the lymphatic system in your brain that only takes place when-”

”I couldn’t sleep,” Mary interrupts kindly, gripping the cup in her hands a little tighter. ”Warm milk and honey usually does the trick.” 

Castiel considers her and is just about to ask when she shakes her head.

”I don’t need you to help me. But thank you for offering.” 

She takes a sip from the cup and eyes him curiously, tilting her head a little and in this moment, she looks so much like Sam that it does something strange to Castiel’s throat. 

”Please, join me,” she suggests, gesturing at the chair across from her. Castiel dutifully complies and tries to get the feeling to subside. 

”Do you think that I’m doing the right thing? Helping the Brits?” She sounds uncertain, and Castiel wonders if this is one of those ’rhetorical questions’ that Dean tried to explain to him last week. When she looks up at him expectantly, however, he figures that she is waiting for him to reply.

”I think that the British Men of Letters are trying to do a good deed. However, light cannot exist without darkness. Good cannot exist without evil. The balance in this world will be disrupted if every last monster is extinct.”

Mary smiles softly at him and rests her head on her left hand.

”So are you saying that I should let some of the monsters live?” 

”I don’t know. I know that when God was dying, so was the sun. But he would not kill his sister, even though she had killed millions of people. Does that make God evil? Or did he simply believe that there is some good and some evil in all of us?” He sighs and leans back in the chair, repeating a simple: ”I don’t know.”

Mary hums in response and drinks some more of her warm milk and honey. The drink her father made her when she was little, a memory that floats to the surface of her mind and disappears just as quickly.

”What about you, Castiel? What do you want to do with your life? Surely and angel could do better than this ratty old bunker?” 

The words are degrading, speaking negatively about the bunker, but there is love in Mary’s voice and this is why Castiel is confused by humans. 

”I know that I am not a part of your family, but this is still my home. This place - your sons - have done so much for me. More than my angelic family ever did. There is no other place I would rather be.” 

Just as Mary speaks, something tugs at Castiel’s grace and he diverts all his focus to listen to it. It only takes a split second for him to recognize the sensation, and it hurts and feels absolutely wonderful and Castiel wishes that he could reply to it. Only moments later it disappears, which worries Castiel for real because usually it lasts for minutes, unless-

He dislikes peeking into Dean’s conscience because Dean has made it abundantly clear that he does not want Castiel to read his mind. However, this is an exception. Mary is still speaking as Castiel reaches out for Dean and finds that he is alive, well, and asleep. Suddenly there is that tug on his grace again, and when Castiel enquires further he realizes that Dean is having a nightmare. And calling out to him, unconsciously. 

This places Castiel in a bit of a dilemma, because if he wakes Dean he will wonder how he knew about the nightmare, and then he will surely be upset because Castiel read his mind. If he doesn’t do anything, Dean will continue to sleep restlessly, maybe even wake up on his own, but then he will turn to the hidden bottle in his bedside drawer instead of trying to get back to sleep, and he will be in a bad mood tomorrow. 

Castiel sighs heavily, and only then does he realize that Mary has been watching him with a hint of a smile. 

”I apologize.”

”Don’t worry. I was just thanking you for looking after my boys. And you _are_ family, Castiel. Never doubt that.” 

Castiel is about to thank her, but then Dean’s pain tears itself through Castiel’s chest and he has to steady himself on the table.

”Castiel? What’s wrong?” Mary asks, already reaching out towards him with worry in her eyes.

”Dean is having a nightmare. His unconscious self is calling out to me for help, but if I wake him up he will know that I read his mind and-”

”And I’m guessing that he has told you off for doing that a few times?” Mary scoffs, leaning back in her seat. She asks, ”Does it happen often? The nightmares?”

”Once every few nights. He-” Castiel doesn’t know how much he should share with Mary, but then he sees Dean’s green eyes in hers and realizes that if someone should know, it is Dean’s mother. ”He doesn’t sleep very well. Usually not more than four or five hours. I don’t know what to do.” 

Mary smiles at him as if she knows something that he doesn’t (highly unlikely, seeing as he is a million-year old celestial being with vast knowledge, but still). She reaches out for his arm and gives it a little squeeze, a motion that Castiel knows means she is trying to reassure him. 

”When Dean had nightmares as a child, I would lay next to him until he fell asleep again. Sometimes he needed a hug, sometimes I sang to him.” When Castiel doesn’t move, she adds, ”Go on, go. Take care of my boy.” 

He leaves her there in the kitchen with the cup of warm milk and honey in her hands, and reaches Dean’s room without having to think about how to get there. He is a bit nervous, which is ridiculous because he is an angel of the lord and he has killed thousands of monsters, but he has never done this. Stepped into Dean’s room through the door while he was asleep, with the intent of getting him out of a nightmare.

After knocking on the door without getting a response, Castiel gently opens it. 

”Dean?” he calls, peering inside. Dean is on his side, and he is awake. Castiel considers leaving again when a muffled voice can be heard.

”What?” 

”Dean, can I come inside?” 

”I guess.” Castiel closes the door behind him and pretends not to hear the sniffle. He walks up to the empty side of the bed and sits after hesitating for only a moment. 

”Can I lay down?” 

Dean shuffles a little to the side, which Castiel figures is a ’yes’, so he takes his shoes off and gets into a half-sitting half-lying position next to Dean. 

He doesn’t know what to say or even if he should say something, so he stays quiet for now. Dean’s back is facing him, so he can’t see his expressions (not that he is too good at reading them anyways), however his mind is still yelling out all kinds of chaotic thoughts. They hurt and Castiel doesn’t know how to shut them out now that he has let them in, he just has to find a way to make them stop.

”Dean, I-” 

Dean rolls around swiftly and before either of them know what is going on, he has wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist and is burying his face against his side, silent sobs wrecking his body.

”Don’t ever leave me, you promise? If you died, I-” His voice is replaced by more sobs, and Castiel lowers his arms until they are resting around Dean’s shoulders. He remembers how Mary squeezed his arm and decides to try it out - he ends up sort of hugging Dean closer to his body, to which Dean replies by tightening his hold around him. 

”I won’t leave you. I’m not going anywhere. I’m home.” 

He presses a kiss to the top of Dean’s head, and when it makes Dean burrow his nose deeper into Castiel’s shirt, he leaves his mouth pressed against Dean’s hair.

”I need you, Cas,” Dean mumbles, and hugs him even tighter. 

”And I need you. More than you know.” 


End file.
